THE REVELATION

Yesterday, I had one of the most exciting and powerful revelations of my life.

For years, I questioned myself. I questioned my worth, my purpose, my power. I did that because I struggled to be okay with the image I believed I presented. I spent years holding onto the doubt the enemy planted in me through my paternal grandmother.

Quietly, I rehearsed her words in my head a million times:

“You are too ugly, too fat, too lazy, and you will never be anything.”

• I questioned my life decisions.

• I questioned my choices.

• I thought I was too dark.

• I thought I wasn’t smart enough.

• I could have been a better parent

• I failed at my marriage

• I wasn’t as intelligent as other people in my career.

• I should be further along in life.

• I should have more.

• I should be a better friend, sister, aunt, and lover.

• Somewhere deep inside, there was always something that made me feel like I didn’t measure up.

In this healing journey, I slowly began to embrace what I once called my flaws. I became more confident in my beauty. I began to love my curves and fluff. I started standing taller until one day, I looked in the mirror and realized the woman staring back at me was enough. She was beautiful. She was bright.

That realization gave me the courage to walk into rooms with boldness.

Yet there was still a lingering fear that I would say the wrong thing, that I would not be accepted, that I would not fit in.

Deep in my gut, I feared that when people looked at me, they would see the little girl who had been molested.

• They would see the little girl who had witnessed abuse, rage, and fighting.

• They would somehow know that I didn’t have the educational background many others had acquired.

• They would know that I had once filed for bankruptcy because I struggled to manage my finances.

• They would know that the sexual abuse I endured led me into promiscuity early in life. They would know that I suffered from alopecia and lost my beautifully flowing hair years ago.

• They would see the dark circles around my eyes that haunted me for years.

• They would see my big nose and dark skin.

• They would know that my father, and many of the men in my life, were alcoholics and womanizers—and that I spent years trying to reclaim love through one bad relationship after another.

I feared that people would somehow see all the secrets I tried so hard to hide.

That terrified me.

So, I overcompensated. I poured myself into people and things, focusing on their brokenness so I would not have to face my own.

For the last five years, I have been on a journey to discover my “why.” Along that journey, God has gently walked me into healing through words.

I learned that my why is this:

I am wired to help restore what feels broken.

At first, I thought that meant people and things.

But I learned something profound.

My search to restore what felt broken was not about the men I chose, the family members I cared for, or even the communities I served.

What was broken was me.

I started a conference for women called Mask Down. It was my way of helping women remove the masks they wore—the masks of pain, grief, unforgiveness, molestation, violence, unresolved trauma, body image struggles, abandonment, and everything else we hide behind.

But yesterday, God took it even further for me.

I walked into a room filled with about 150 white men and women. These people represented power in the state. They had credentials that would make someone’s jaw drop. They were educated, financially secure, powerful, and esteemed. They wore finely pressed uniforms in blue and gray, yet their badges of rank, and polished presence made the room feel stale and cold.

Then there was me.

Dressed in bright Afrocentric orange and white, braided hair flowing and bouncing against my mid-length white blazer, adorned with big silver heart-shaped earrings and topped off with fresh false eyelashes.

A year ago—heck, even six months ago—Valerie would have shrunk into herself.

Every insecurity and anxiety would have attacked all at once. The old me would have convinced herself she was absolutely in the wrong room. She could not compare. She could not compete.

But something extraordinary happened.

As I looked around the room at the presumed elite, all I saw were souls—human spirits.

No greater than me.

No less than me.

Then God showed up.

It was as if my lens suddenly changed.

My shoulders straightened. My head lifted.

And in that moment, I knew that every piece of the mask I had hidden for years was exactly what was needed for such a time as this.

I giggled inside. My spirit leaped for joy.

Then the Father spoke:

“I am so proud I made you who you are. You are exactly who I need you to be in this room.”

And I knew it was true.

I felt it.

I embraced it.

I walked in it.

For the first time in my life, I understood that everything that had happened to me had prepared me for this moment.

Every piece of my mask was beautiful.

Healing taught me not to hide myself—but to embrace all of me.

What I thought were flaws had actually been purposed by God.

What I believed made me unworthy had actually given me understanding of the human experience.

Everything—the good and the bad—had become building blocks that shaped Me!

Oh my God.

In that moment, I finally understood what it truly means to be fearfully and wonderfully made.

The Hebrew understanding of “fearfully” points to awe, reverence, honor, and deep respect—an intentional design crafted by the Creator with profound attention to detail.

Wonderfully made reminds us that we are unique—distinct and extraordinary.

And the details?

The details are the pieces of the mask.

The experiences.

The pain.

The joy.

The lessons.

The becoming.

Think about it, among the billions of souls in the universe, God, in his infinite wisdom decided to make each one of us different and unique, on purpose!

.

How amazing is that?

My message today is simple:

Embrace you.

Every journey carries a lesson.

Heal from what life teaches.

Take accountability. Learn. Grow.

When we open ourselves to God’s guidance, we begin to feel the extraordinary love of His creation. We begin to love ourselves exactly as He created us.

At that point, there is reconciliation with the masks—not rejection of them.

And when that happens, we finally understand that we are ABSOLUTELY walking in purpose.