Love: The True Measure of a Believer

I woke up early this morning, as I always do. The first words from my mouth were, “Thank you, God.” My love placed a hot cup of coffee in my hands. I rose to my feet and went into my prayer closet, seeking God and waiting to hear His voice.

Then, almost like rapid fire, God began to pour these scriptures into my heart:

John 3:16 – For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.

Matthew 22:37–40 – Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

Matthew 5:44 – But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.

“Yes, God,” I said, “I know love. I even have a poster of 1 Corinthians 13 in my prayer room to remind me how important love is.”

God responded, “How do you love when it is hard?”

“I love the right way,” I answered confidently.

Then He whispered again, “Believer, search your heart.”

I was confused. I believed my heart was pure and full of love. So God continued His teaching.

Love is the essence of the gospel. It is not just a feeling or an emotion. It is a decision—even when it costs you something. True love seeks the good of others above its own comfort. If you want to know if someone is truly walking with God, look at how they love.

John 13:34 – A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.

Then God reminded me of one of my favorite scriptures, 1 Corinthians 13:1–13, and asked, “Tell me, what does that mean to you?”

I paraphrased it this way:

You can pray, speak in tongues, and prophesy until the cows come home, but if you don’t have love, you’re just making noise. You can proclaim your faith and move mountains, but if love isn’t in your heart, it means nothing. You can give everything you have to the poor, but if your heart doesn’t love, it profits nothing.

Love suffers long and is kind. That means it doesn’t matter who got on your nerves or who did you wrong—you must forgive, not for them, but to cleanse your own soul. Love means you can’t mistreat others just because you think they deserve it or because they hurt you. You can’t be spiteful or seek revenge. You shouldn’t speak harshly or treat people unfairly—that’s not practicing love. You must forgive your enemies. You should not be prideful.

Feeling proud of my response, I went on, quoting scripture after scripture, trying to show God how well I understood love.

Love doesn’t relish bad thoughts against others. It doesn’t want anyone to fail. It doesn’t matter how gifted or intelligent you are, how much you serve in the church, or even if you preach the gospel—if your heart is not filled with love, you are nothing.

God seemed pleased for a moment, then asked gently, “What should your home life look like?”

Eager to answer, I said, “If there is chaos in your home, anger, mistrust, evil, or injustice—then where is your love?”

He said softly, “Exactly. That right there. What does your home love look like, daughter?”

I bowed my head in shame as I finally understood His message.

Yesterday, I was in a somber mood. My partner was busy adding a new look to the downstairs bathroom—he’s always trying to do something special for me. But my legs were hurting, and I didn’t feel like going downstairs to see it. I went anyway, but with an attitude. I looked at it almost without expression. When he said something that sounded like attitude to me, I ignored him for the rest of the day.

I knew that would get under his skin, and I did it anyway. I couldn’t even explain why. Later that evening, I sat staring at the TV in silence. When it was time to sleep, I turned over without kissing him goodnight or saying, “I love you.” I was showing him I wasn’t pleased—but with what, I couldn’t even say.

So this morning, God had to teach me a lesson—because He wasn’t pleased with how I was loving.

I realized it’s the small things that reveal God’s love in us. I was reminded of all the things I’ve done and continue to do that probably don’t please God, yet He still shows me unconditional love. He never holds grudges. He always forgives. He never ignores me or treats me rudely.

I had gotten so puffed up in believing that I was a good person. I help everyone. I give my all. I lift up my friends and family. I, I, I. Yet, the person right beside me—the one who shows me so much love—I was treating poorly.

That’s when I learned something valuable: we must be careful of our high and mighty thoughts. It’s easy to love when it’s convenient. We look like superstars when love is easy to show. But the true test of love is in how we act when no one is watching.

We must examine all our love behaviors—the words we speak, the thoughts we harbor, the feelings we hide: jealousy, envy, bitterness, pride, anger.

Loving doesn’t mean becoming a doormat. The greatest love, aside from God’s, is love for ourselves.

If we love God and ourselves properly, then we can love our neighbor as ourselves. But many struggle with that verse because they have not yet learned how to love themselves. Many feel unworthy of love, forgiveness, patience, or kindness. And when we can’t love ourselves, how can we truly love others?

Love is hard to practice in our own strength, because as humans, we run out of love. But God’s love never runs out. We must ask the Holy Spirit to help us love like God does—that’s supernatural love.

1 Corinthians 13:13 – And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Why is love the greatest? Because it reflects the very nature of God. If we are His children, love must be the language we live by. Love is not weakness—it is strength through humility.

The world is watching how believers treat one another.

John 13:35 – By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you love one another.

1 John 4:7–8 – Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.