Are there reasons why we try to earn what God has already freely given?

A dear friend of mine shared her God-inspired devotional with me. It is a powerful reminder of God's love. It also challenges us to think about how we show up as believers. 

One question it asks is: In what area of my life am I trying to earn what God has already freely given? 

That question has echoed in my mind ever since. 

I am always asking God why we, as His children, struggle so much with our faith. It's not that we don't believe in God. Our worship, our prayers, and our praise clearly demonstrate our belief. To me, the deeper issue is this: What message was planted so deeply within us? What offense or wound was planted early in our lives that prevents us from fully believing God? 

That question brought me back to why Generational Healing is so vital. 

We are born like open, empty gardens—ready to receive whatever seeds are planted. We come into this world void of fear, pain, unworthiness, distrust, shame, and rejection. 

Then something is deposited into us. 

It can be abuse—physical, emotional, or sexual—that plants trauma. 

It can be loving words and consistent care that plant security. 

It can be abandonment. 

It can be the belief that we have to prove ourselves. It can be the message that we must work harder than everyone else, causing us to become overachievers. It can be believing we are not pretty enough, too dark, too light, too skinny, too fat, too loud, too quiet, too tall, or simply not enough. 

Whatever that seed is, it seeps into our spirit, often without us even realizing it. 

There are many other forms of trauma that can be planted. 

Maybe we witnessed fighting, yelling, and arguing in our homes.

Maybe we were punished harshly as children under the old saying, "Spare the rod, spoil the child."

Maybe we watched our fathers hit our mothers, or our mothers hit our fathers.

Maybe we witnessed infidelity.

Maybe we had a parent who was physically present but emotionally absent.

Maybe we were never hugged or told we were loved.

Maybe addiction—whether alcohol or drugs—filled our home.

Maybe no one ever smiled. 

So how do these seeds eventually sprout in our lives? 

If we grew up in a home filled with rage and aggression, we may avoid conflict altogether because we fear that same aggression. Or we may become the aggressor ourselves, believing shouting, fighting, and intimidation are normal ways to resolve conflict. 

If we were whipped with switches as children, we may avoid disciplining our own children because we never want them to experience that same trauma. That can result in providing little or no discipline and wondering why our children are out of control.

Or we may swing to the opposite extreme, repeating the same harsh punishment we experienced while never allowing our children to express themselves or make mistakes. 

If we witnessed unfaithfulness in our homes, we may avoid commitment because we fear betrayal.

Or we may become comfortable being the side chick, the side man, or someone who never fully commits because faithfulness was never modeled. 

If we saw addiction in our homes—whether alcohol or drugs—we may become addicts ourselves in an attempt to numb the pain.

Or we may vow never to use drugs, only to transfer that addiction elsewhere. We may overeat, overexercise, overwork, overspend, or become consumed with achievement. We may not even recognize it as an addiction because it looks productive. But addictive personalities often reveal themselves in many different behaviors. 

For me, these reasons make it clear why we feel, we need to earn God’s love. 

Every time I ask myself that question, I arrive at the same answer. 

We need healing from the spiritual trauma that has been passed down through generations. 

We need that healing because whatever lives in us eventually spills into our children, our families, our communities, and every area of our life. 

Many of the seeds planted within us didn't begin with our parents. For Black people especially, many of those seeds were planted centuries ago. 

• The need to protect our secrets. 

• The way the world has responded to the color of our skin. 

• The legacy often associated with the Willie Lynch theory—turning us against one another. 

• Competition instead of collaboration. 

• Survival instead of thriving. 

• The "crabs in a barrel" mentality. 

• The violence, rage, fear, shame, and feelings of unworthiness born from generations of oppression. 

All of the historical narratives continue to hunt and haunt us like an unwelcomed demon that we cannot kill. 

The reality is that many destructive beliefs have been passed from generation to generation. Those seeds influence who we are and how we show up in the world. 

My desire for complete healing is my commitment to pulling those seeds out by the root. 

I want clear space in my mind, my heart, and my spirit so I am no longer clogged by the lies and wounds the enemy has sown into this world.

I want to clear the path for my children, grandchildren, and great-great grandchildren so that they don’t become prey to these lies and so they have room to receive the fullness of GOD. 

I want to make room for a garden filled only with God's seeds. 

For me, healing begins with truth. 

It begins with acknowledging that I carry seeds of both affliction and blessings—and that I have consciously and unconsciously passed those seeds on to others. 

The next step is having the courage to face them head-on. 

To face the pain. 

To acknowledge the trauma. 

To accept my responsibility for where it exists. 

To share the joys 

To share the lessons 

To share the stories of my forefather and foremothers 

To forgive others for wounds placed upon me, whether I believe they deserve forgiveness or not. 

If I choose to offer forgiveness and they reject it, that is no longer my burden to carry. If they are no longer living, I offer that forgiveness between me and God. 

My forgiveness is for my freedom. 

It is not a free pass for them. 

In fact, they are no longer the focus of my decision to forgive. 

Healing me—and giving those around me permission to pursue their own healing—is the goal. 

Being completely open to the promises of God is the goal. 

Unclogging my heart from the sewage of unhealed trauma and the lies of the enemy is the goal. 

The goal is to stop trying to earn what God has already freely given: 

His unconditional love. 

His acceptance. 

His grace. 

And finally, the goal is to freely give everything back to God, fully understanding that... 

IT ALL BELONGS TO GOD ANYWAY.